Four years ago today was probably the worse day of my life. I woke up to my dad crying (which I have only seen twice in my life), pulling me out of bed telling me Kia had been in a car accident. I immediately said, ok lets go to the hospital that is when he told me she didnt make it. I dont know if you have ever loss someone that you are extremely close to suddenly, but the gut wrenching feeling, the emptiness that immediately feels your heart and the pain that shoots throughout your body is like nothing you could imagine feeling. I must have screamed, although I dont recall doing so, because it woke my mom up in the other room and her door was closed. She thought someone was in the house. My dad left me and went to tell her. She pretty much fainted. We sound like a dramatic family, but we really arent. Anyway, we went over to my aunt Debbies(where Kia lived) and met her and the man that came to tell her stayed with her til we got there. Mimi and Pops joined us and we tried to get our thoughts together on what to do next. Dad called Kia's parents and told them. I know, you would think they would be the first to know, long story... anyway after that, Dad and I went to get her belongings out of her little truck. It was a long silent ride. If you know either me or Dad, you know we are talkers, but not on this trip. We drove over to Charlotte Pike where it happened and when we got to the place and saw the truck, we both started to cry again. I cant even begin to tell you about the truck. Seeing her blood down the side of it, the hair/blood mix on the steering wheel and the way the truck was off it axel was the hardest thing I have ever seen. The thought of her spinning down that embankment alone and scared is still hard to think about. Good thing is she died instantly, so she was scared one minute and with our Lord the next is a comfort. Speaking of Christ, he always shows Himself in times of need. I was so caught up in the shock of Kia dying that I didnt take the time to pray. As I was getting her stuff out of the truck, on her drivers seat was a picture of Christ leading children over a broken bridge. I showed it to Dad and I though how good God is, He placed that there to remind us He is in control and we have to remember she is with Him now. What a comfort to have Christ in your life.
Now, I would never ever say this if I wasnt for sure he would never read this, but Kia had a boyfriend of about a year. She was coming home from his house when the accident happened. She left mad at him, and I know my cousin's temper... she was speeding down the road. I know he feels guilty and I would too. I cant blame him for what happened because the Lord is in control and "accident" dont happen with God. I wanted to blame him, but with Christs' help I didnt. Her boyfriend kept her upset all the time. I told a her week before she died to break up with him. I dont care what he says, he did not love her. It is so easy to say you love someone and you would have married them when they are gone. I guarantee you they wouldnt be together today if she were here. But like I said, I dont blame him for what happen, I do blame him for constantly keeping her crying and feeling low. Because he did. She would come to me and tell me. The last Christmas she was alive she wanted this butterfly necklace. She told me all about it, took me to see it and was certain he would get it for her. Not to mine or my family's surprise, he didnt. He got her a pot from the flea market... a pot. The grudge I really have for him is the way he under minded mine, my parents, my aunts and my grandparents loss. We knew her a lifetime. He knew her about a year. He would say things to me like "I know you miss too, but you dont know how I'm feeling" DONT KNOW HOW YOUR FEELING?! No one will miss her more than her family. I have a lot of resentment towards him for that. I dont like when he talks about Kia to me. I just dont. He is dwelling on guilt. Cause that is all it is. He never loved her and she knew that. She told me when we talked about it a week before she died she knew he didnt love her. She was very upset he bought a house with his brother. She said she felt slapped in the face by him. As if he were telling her he didnt want to get married and he didnt. We all knew it. I wish that she were a stronger person, she may be alive today. I rest on the verse Isaiah 57:1&2 The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. Kia has had one friend that truly loved her. She dated him for a while, but he didnt want to lead her on. His name is Jordan. Every year on this day and a few times throughout the year, he always calls just to see how my family is. It means so much to all of us! but anyway, it really hurts when someone undermines your loss. I couldnt imagine doing that to anyone. I'm done now. Usually Feb. 28th sucks, but not this year. I love Kia so SO SOOOO much. She and Mimi are waiting for the rest of the family to come Home. And I cant wait!!
